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Timeless Wisdom: MODERN LEADERSHIP - Cultures of Forgiveness & Growth
Jerri Ann Jensen • August 2, 2024
Forgiveness has a special power to keep us growing and moving forward together, toward the visions and missions that matter to us. Let’s take a moment to think about how Jesus created cultures of forgiveness and growth, even when His followers were at their "worst."
Friend, when we lead or manage teams long enough, we get to see people at their best... and their worst. The best moments in our workplaces, homes, and faith communities are truly thrilling. But those worst moments? They can be pretty tough. Sometimes they can even make our blood boil.
By the worst, I mean anything from complaining and negligence to outright betrayal. If you've been in leadership long enough, you know what I mean.
So, what should we do when we encounter the worst in people?
Believe the Best!
- Believe they are capable of so much more. πͺ
- Believe they can make better choices. π
- Believe they, as a human, are more important than the problems they have created. π€
Jesus, our Master Leader, modeled this when He saw and believed the best in people, even when those closest to Him showed up at their worst. Remember how He responded to Peter’s betrayal? Peter was devastated by how he had failed his friend, something he never thought he was capable of doing. Jesus understood Peter's dismay and shame. And Jesus looked past his betrayal—into the future and into Peter's potential.
He moved toward Peter to restore their relationship. Jesus loved Peter, saw the greatness in him, and knew Peter was destined to be the foundational leader of His Church!
Missions can be won or lost by our response to people’s failures.
Yes, friend, this is a hard reality and leading from a place of forgiveness can be difficult, painfully difficult… It can be so hard. It’s not for the faint of heart.
Does this mean we should excuse problems people create or give them permission to keep creating them? Not at all. Does this mean they don’t face consequences for their actions? No!
It means while experiencing the worst, we believe in their best.
Believing and acting for their best…
- If this is someone who works for you, it may mean they are honorably and ethically fired.
- If this is a friend or family member, it may mean there are boundaries set in your relationship.
- If this is someone who has committed a crime against you, it may mean they experience lawful consequences.
Believing and acting for someone’s best also means we have our own work of forgiveness to do. It means we “forgive as the Lord has forgiven us,” friend.
Forgiving like Jesus—it may be free to the receiver, but it’s costly to the giver. It cost Jesus His life!
Extending forgiveness freely doesn’t mean the offender avoids consequences—far from it! Forgiveness never says, “What they did was okay.” Instead, it declares, “What this person did was wrong AND I forgive them.”
In fact, facing consequences can often be the catalyst that helps them transition from their worst behaviors and grow into their best selves.
Create a Culture of Forgiveness and Growth
Believe the best… understand the worst.
This isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for the brave, the loving, the strong—for leaders who understand their own capacities for both "best" and "worst" living. It’s for those willing to forgive like Jesus—even when it’s incredibly painful and difficult.
As we navigate the waters of leadership and forgiveness, we need trusted people in our corner who can support us and help us find our way forward. Don’t do this alone, friend. Connect with others; I’d be honored to help you lead or manage, believing the best and understanding the worst. (Schedule an inquiry call to learn more and see if this would be a good option for youβ.)
Take a moment. Think about a way someone has hurt you or a recent mistake someone on your team made... or maybe a friend or family member. Who comes to mind? Your belief in their potential can inspire the courage they need to rise and try again (Proverbs 24:16). π
Let’s keep braving this life and leadership journey together. Let’s keep believing the best about our own and each other’s abilities, applying timeless wisdom to create the coach-approach cultures of forgiveness and growth our modern workforce longs for.
In our last blog, we discussed how questions unlock insight and generate action. Today, let’s talk about the human and missional impact of listening like Jesus. Practice #2: Listen Intently Jesus' Example: Consider His interaction with the woman at the well (John 4:7-26). He was completely present, listened to her story, understood her needs, and responded with empathy and wisdom. π§ His loving and genuine engagement inspired her to share about Him with others, furthering His earthly mission. Here are important reminders for us, friend: While Jesus was always aware of His mission, His every action was driven by love. β€οΈ So, I want to be clear— I’m not sharing these practices as a way to disguise care for the purpose of coercing others for missional gains . Instead, I'm sharing them to encourage us to continually give of ourselves, to humbly love and lead just as Jesus did — practices that naturally lead to the best outcomes for everyone involved. Listen Intently: Let’s grow together in truly understanding others, not just giving them ‘air time.’ Let’s demonstrate humility and believe that what they have to say holds genuine value (James 1:19). This was a cornerstone of Jesus' interactions. He genuinely listened , which had a transformational impact on people and His relationships with them. Impacts of Listening: Listening intently can help us build stronger connections, foster trust, and understand the needs and motivations of our people more deeply. We’ll be able to care in ways that matter most to them. As they feel even more valued and heard, they are freed up to join us in taking greater ownership of missional outcomes. π€ Try This... In your next conversation, focus on seeking to truly understand the other person's perspective without immediately inserting your thoughts. Use phrases like, "Please say more about that," or "What do you think we should do next?" These approaches show you value their input and invite open and honest engagement. Getting a little personal here, friend: How intently would your people say you listen to them? π€ … Team members, family, friends? Imagine being in a meeting or conversation where you focus entirely on what someone else is saying. How would that change your interactions? Your outcomes? Who in your life needs you to lean in and listen this week? Ask them a question, then practice listening intentionally; if it helps, just remind yourself: “Keep your lips closed, champ.” π ο»Ώ I’m excited we can keep moving forward and growing together!
In the coming weeks, we’ll continue to learn from Jesus’ model of leadership as we dive deeper into practical steps for meeting modern leadership demands . From asking questions and listening in ways that evoke clarity and action, to creating cultures of growth and forgiveness, let's cover it all, friends. Practice #1: Ask Powerful Questions that Generate Clarity and Action! Here’s an example of how Jesus asked questions that generated clarity AND action: “Who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15). Clarity : That question helped the men following Jesus honestly evaluate what they believed— It helped them gain clarity and articulate their perceptions . Let's ask these same types of questions , friends...questions that evoke self-awareness and action. Action : One man's reflection on Jesus' question led him (Peter) to a deeper recognition and embrace of Jesus’ mission. Peter said: “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Peter’s response demonstrated his belief was clear and that a deeper conviction had been embedded in his heart. Peter went on to be Jesus’ leader among leaders – he was foundational in advancing Jesus’ mission and establishing His Church. In the same way, your questions can help team members gain clarity that leads to deeper levels of ownership, engagement, and decisive action —action toward the objectives and key results needed for your team or organizational mission to succeed. (Even your home-team mission.) Here’s a question for you, friend: Right here, right now, what matters most about your leadership? π€ If meeting the needs of today’s generation matters—if leading in ways that demonstrate honor for human value AND in ways that support goal attainment—start by asking questions that encourage honest reflection. Then listen in ways that show you care. β€οΈ For example, you could ask a team member, " What matters to you about your current role? " You could ask a family member or friend, “ What do you value about our relationship? ” Or, from a place of genuine curiosity (not accusation or judgment), “ It seems like you consistently make plans but don’t follow through. What’s behind that? ” π€·βοΈπ€·βοΈ Imagine asking someone in your sphere of influence a question like one of the examples above. What might happen? Who needs a question from you today? What would you ask them? Now, go ahead, friend. Do it! π Ask someone a question that will help them honestly evaluate their beliefs or mindsets. If something would stop you from doing this, what would it be? ο»Ώ Stay tuned for next week's blog , where we’ll discuss how you can listen even more intently, employing timeless leadership wisdom to meet the needs of our modern workforce and get things done. π
In our last blog, we explored how today's workforce longs for managers and leaders who ask inclusive questions, foster growth, and empower meaningful achievement. These are the hallmarks of a coach-approach—they were a part of Jesus’ masterful approach to leadership! Now, let's get even more practical, friend. Have you wondered how to start (or continue) embedding a coach approach in your leadership? π€ Great news! Over the next three blogs, we’ll flesh out these coach-approach practices with 'how-to' tips: Ask Powerful Questions: Start with questions that invite reflection. You could ask a team member, "What matters to you about your role here?" This mirrors Jesus' approach of asking questions that promote self-discovery and result in action. (Proverbs 20:5). πͺ Listen Intently: Truly listen to understand. This honors their humanity and demonstrates you value what they say (James 1:19). Listening (attuning) was a cornerstone of Jesus' interactions! π Create a Culture of Forgiveness and Growth: Believe in the potential of those you lead and develop the strength to forgive with a growth mindset, even when someone has made a big mistake. Your belief in another person’s God-given purpose can inspire the courage they need to rise and try again (Jesus did this for Peter, John 21:15-17). π By increasingly integrating these three practices, you’ll be a catalyst of transformation for the individuals and teams you lead. You'll help them align with God’s creative and redemptive purposes for their lives while generating fuller engagement in your organization’s (or family’s) priorities. π Did you know? A Harvard Business Review study found that organizations with a coaching culture have employees who are more adaptable, innovative, and resilient. π What leader, manager, or business owner doesn’t want that? Stay tuned for our next blogs, where we’ll flesh out these timeless leadership practices that meet the needs of our modern world. π Our people and missional priorities are far too important to miss them! I'm excited to be on a growth journey with you!
If there was one leader in history who modeled the style of leadership today's modern workforce is demanding... It was Jesus! π His style of leadership exemplifies what they long for. Today's workforce wants managers and leaders who ask inclusive questions, foster growth, and empower meaningful achievement. These, among other attributes, describe a coaching style—they describe the way Jesus led! For example, He asked over 300 questions as recorded in the Gospels. And He answered very few — many agree He only directly answered three. π€ Jesus wasn’t an answer-giver. But His approach wasn’t about avoiding answers; it was about engaging people in deeper reflection and self-discovery that would result in action! (Matthew 16:13-20). β¨ Consider one of His questions to His disciples, "What are you seeking?" (John 1:38). This wasn't just a query; it was an invitation to self-awareness, clarity, and purposeful action. π As a faith-driven leader, adopting a coach approach means believing in the potential for transformation in yourself and others. It's about engaging yourself and others with curiosity, guiding with questions that unlock insights and foster personal AND missional growth. Did you know that 88% of employees say they value leaders who seek out their opinions and engage them in dialogue , according to a study by Deloitte? π In our next blog, we'll delve into practical ways you can start asking questions and other ways you can follow Jesus’ coach-style of leadership to meet modern-day needs. Excited we can be on this leadership learning journey together and we'd love to hear from you. What leadership approaches have you found valuable?
Try using these five questions as a jump-start to craft other powerful coaching questions for clients or teams: CLARITY: What needs clarifying? Proverbs 4:7 reminds us, "The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding." Clarity is the foundation of wisdom.* OWNERSHIP: Where is there buy-in or resistance? Galatians 6:5 says, "For each one should carry their own load." Ownership is about taking responsibility and being accountable.* STRUCTURE: What plan needs to come together? Proverbs 21:5 notes, "The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty." A solid structure is crucial for success.* MOMENTUM: What’s working or not working? Philippians 3:13-14 encourages us, "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal." Momentum keeps us moving forward.* OUTCOMES: What’s the vision or goal? Proverbs 29:18 states, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Outcomes are about having a clear vision and direction.* Feel free to use the five COSMO priorities or these five questions as a jump-start to craft your own powerful coaching questions for the people you are influencing. Crafting the Best Questions The best questions: Engage relationally and evoke thought Contain 7-10 words… or less Imagine being just a few questions away from the clarity you, your clients, or your team members need to get unstuck and move forward. Is that even possible? With our coaching clients and COSMO Advantage™ course participants, we have found that even just one of the five questions below (centered on our COSMO acronym that is inspired by biblical principles) can serve as a game-changer. When individuals or teams are stuck, the reason likely exists within one of COSMO’s five categories: Clarity, Ownership, Structure, Momentum, or Outcomes. The Power of the COSMO Framework Questions with few words are easiest for our brains to process; so they hold the potential for the greatest impact. Think about a person in your circle of influence who needs to get unstuck and move forward. What’s one question they need to be asked? Final Thoughts By integrating these principles into your leadership and coaching practices, you can help others find clarity, take ownership, build structure, gain momentum, and achieve their goals. Whether you're leading a team, coaching a client, or guiding a friend, the right questions can be transformative. Let’s keep braving this journey together, inspired by faith and guided by wisdom. What powerful question will you ask today? Warmly, Jerri Ann Jensen
Consider the power of questions in the battle for the human soul, a battle that’s existed since the beginning of time. In the Garden of Eden, questions moved Adam and Eve to relationally engage, shift perspectives, then act … in line with evil and good. The enemy’s first question: “Did God really say…” (Genesis 3:1) This question engaged the hearts of Adam and Eve. It caused them to ponder. Then led them to embrace a lie - truth was being twisted and their human perspective was shifting. Doubts arose in their hearts about the goodness of God and His intentions for them. They acted in line with their perspective shift, ultimately turning away from God. The lasting consequences were devastating, for all humanity. Adam and Eve must have felt the weight of their actions. In the core of their being they sensed something was terribly wrong, and they hid. Enter the voice of a loving Father: “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9)** Another relational invitation, this time to engage in a conversation that would lead them out of hiding. Again, questions powerfully impacted this woman and man. This conversation led to a restorative shift in their perspective. Their human souls moving toward rather than away from God. His relational leadership provided covering and removed their shame. They no longer felt a need to hide. Questions are powerful. They invite the human soul to engage, shift perspectives, and act… as seen in the initial battle recorded between good and evil. Consider Jesus’ use of questions: - “Who do you say I am?” (Matthew 16:15) – This question invited His disciples to reflect on their understanding of His identity, leading to Peter’s revelation and proclamation of Jesus as the Messiah. - “Do you want to be made well?” (John 5:6) – Jesus asked this to the man at the pool of Bethesda, prompting him to express his desire for healing, which Jesus then fulfilled. Questions, when used wisely, can lead to profound restoration, insights and transformative actions. Consider your leadership questions and conversations. What impact are they having on those around you? We train leaders and coaches to guide conversations and ask powerful questions where people feel valued and goals get accomplished faster – in the workplace and beyond. I’m wondering… What questions are you asking?
Anytime we lead or manage teams for long enough, we have opportunities to see people at their best… and their worst. The best we see in our workplaces, homes, and faith – that’s thrilling. When we see or experience the worst… well, that’s far from thrilling. It can be quite chilling. By the worst, I’m referring to any range of behaviors from complaining, to negligence, or even betrayal. What are we to do when we see or experience the worst from people we are leading? Believe the best! Believe they are capable of so much more. Believe they can make better choices. Believe they, as a human, are more important than any problem they have created. Jesus modeled this type of leadership when he believed the best in people, even when they showed up at their worst. Think about how he responded to Peter’s betrayal. Jesus moved toward him to restore relationship. Jesus saw the greatness in Peter and knew he was destined to be the foundational leader of the early Church! Yes, leading in this way can be difficult, painfully difficult… It can be so hard. It’s not for the faint of heart. Does this mean leaders should excuse problems people create or give them permission to keep creating them? Not at all. Does this mean they don’t face consequences for their actions? No. It means while experiencing the worst, we believe for their best. Believing and acting for their best… If this is someone who works for you, it may mean they are honorably and ethically fired. If this is a friend or family member, it may mean there are boundaries set in your relationship. If this is someone who has committed a crime against you, it may mean they experience lawful consequences. Believing and acting for someone’s best normally also means we have some work of forgiveness to do internally. It means we “forgive as the Lord has forgiven us.” Forgiveness never says “What they did was ok.” It says the opposite, “What this person did was wrong AND I forgive them.” Forgiving like Jesus – it’s costly to the giver. It cost Jesus His life. Forgiveness is free to the receiver, but does this mean the offender doesn’t or shouldn’t experience consequences? Not at all! In any of these situations, facing consequences may be the catalyst that helps them transition from the worst of their behaviors and relating to grow into their best. Believe the best… understand the worst. Again, this isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for the brave, the loving, the strong, for those who understand their own human capacities for best and worst living. It’s for those willing to forgive like Jesus - when it is incredibly painful and difficult. Often, as we brave the waters of forgiveness, we need trusted people in our corner who can support us and help us find our way forward. If you’d like this type of support, I (or one of our COSMO Advantage leadership coaches) would be honored to help you lead or manage, believing for the best. Let’s keep braving this life and leadership journey together. Let’s keep believing the best about our own and one another’s capacities. Believe the best and understand the worst.
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