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Anytime we lead or manage teams for long enough, we have opportunities to see people at their best… and their worst.
The best we see in our workplaces, homes, and faith – that’s thrilling.
When we see or experience the worst… well, that’s far from thrilling. It can be quite chilling.
By the worst, I’m referring to any range of behaviors from complaining, to negligence, or even betrayal.
What are we to do when we see or experience the worst from people we are leading?
Believe the best!
Believe they are capable of so much more.
Believe they can make better choices.
Believe they, as a human, are more important than any problem they have created.
Jesus modeled this type of leadership when he believed the best in people, even when they showed up at their worst. Think about how he responded to Peter’s betrayal. Jesus moved toward him to restore relationship. Jesus saw the greatness in Peter and knew he was destined to be the foundational leader of the early Church!
Yes, leading in this way can be difficult, painfully difficult… It can be so hard. It’s not for the faint of heart.
Does this mean leaders should excuse problems people create or give them permission to keep creating them? Not at all.
Does this mean they don’t face consequences for their actions? No.
It means while experiencing the worst, we believe for their best.
Believing and acting for their best…
If this is someone who works for you, it may mean they are honorably and ethically fired.
If this is a friend or family member, it may mean there are boundaries set in your relationship.
If this is someone who has committed a crime against you, it may mean they experience lawful consequences.
Believing and acting for someone’s best normally also means we have some work of forgiveness to do internally. It means we “forgive as the Lord has forgiven us.”
Forgiveness never says “What they did was ok.” It says the opposite, “What this person did was wrong AND I forgive them.” Forgiving like Jesus – it’s costly to the giver. It cost Jesus His life.
Forgiveness is free to the receiver, but does this mean the offender doesn’t or shouldn’t experience consequences? Not at all!
In any of these situations, facing consequences may be the catalyst that helps them transition from the worst of their behaviors and relating to grow into their best.
Believe the best… understand the worst. Again, this isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for the brave, the loving, the strong, for those who understand their own human capacities for best and worst living. It’s for those willing to forgive like Jesus - when it is incredibly painful and difficult.
Often, as we brave the waters of forgiveness, we need trusted people in our corner who can support us and help us find our way forward. If you’d like this type of support, I (or one of our COSMO Advantage leadership coaches) would be honored to help you lead or manage, believing for the best.
Let’s keep braving this life and leadership journey together.
Let’s keep believing the best about our own and one another’s capacities.
Believe the best and understand the worst.